hit the ground running

i am off tomorrow morning to vermont to defend my masters thesis!

AND i made a film! my first one ever. this will be the bulk of my presentation.

so stoked.

so stoked for this to be OVERRRRRRRRRR!!!

wish me luck.

peace!

we're half awake in a fake empire: a reality check

i found this on my friend saman's blog here. a film by Ryan Lewis from Seattle.
it really blew me away, maybe its what i needed to see, really powerful.

how did it make you feel to watch it?
what did it make you feel?
are you a slave to technology??

wtf ever happened to picking up the phone and TALKING TO ONE ANOTHER? what about having coffee??

i need to get off my macbook more...even though it is fun.

come visit me in sodak and i promise i'll get off my technology to kick it.

what do you think?

the ultimate contradiction i find myself in while i write my thesis:

AKA why it has taken me so long to write my thesis (BORRRRINGGG).

my favorite book of all time, like, my professional (and personal, as everything is interconnected, right??) "bible": THE MORAL IMAGINATION by John Paul Lederach.

This part really resonated with me today:

In the professional world of writing, we view with caution, even suspicion, the appearance of the personal, and lend a higher accent of legitimacy to models and skills, theory, well-documented case studies, and the technical application of theory that leads toward what we feel is the objectivity of conclusion and proposal. In the process, we do a disservice to our professions, to the building of theory and practice, to the public, and ultimately to ourselves. The disservice is this: When we attempt to eliminate the personal, we lose sight of ourselves, our deeper intuition, and the source of our understandings - who we are and how we are in the world. In so doing we arrive at a paradoxical destination: We believe in the knowledge we generate but not in the inherently messy and personal process by which we acquired it.

YOU TELL 'EM, JOHN PAUL!!!

i just realized to a deeper level why this paper has been so brain wrenching for me. its not that i dont know how to write strictly academic papers, but its that my spirit has to be compleetely ignored, shoved off, seperated from my focus. How can i seperate myself that way? i am a person who lives from my spirit, incorporating that into everything i do. no wonder this has sucked. duh! thanks, JPL.

phew. someone feels me.

holler if you hear me, folks.

one of thousands of reasons i married baktash.

a gchat from him today @ work:

"did i elbow you last night. i had a dream i was fighting against some karate master. sorry."

i'd been itching to shoot lately, especially in downtown rapid city on a weekend when its ABSOLUTELY dead. like, instead of ten people out on the town, there are none. i really had been wanting to shoot for about a month down here. these buildings are really beautiful old, industrial buildings, which i find very romantic. i will shoot more soon, though it was so cold to shoot yesterday for too long.

this shoot was done right before we went to the....RODEO. shots of that soon.

xxx.

layli

p.s. which is your favorite shot?

p.s.s. if you would like to see the shots bigger, just click on the images.

take a look, give it a whirl, trip out!

the second vid is really funny and was intended to be the one and only, but as you'll see, it became the outtake. heh.

p.s. this is all true and you should also try it at home. or @ your office. or on your basketball court while you're hooping with the homies -- whatever you do, this is bound to make you popular and magical.

Attitude adjustment hour has descended upon us, yet again.

A dear friend called me today and I told her about how stressed I was with my thesis, and how these are the last couple of days before it has to be turned in. I told her how I wasn't able to really focus on working forward with it, but rather, bogged down by the challenge of it, even though I am SO CLOSE to being finished. She sent this to me in an email, a quote she felt moved to share with me, which I found so pertinent to my day today and my headspace as of late. This was a great attitude adjustment for me, as I am sure it can serve you all in some way or another. It IS important to be able to give ourselves credit for where we ARE and how we got HERE and to celebrate all of our accomplishes...as opposed to letting our negativity or self- doubt get the best of us. word em up.

"Rather than dwelling on limiting patterns and inner blockages, begin by seeing your early life experiences as stepping-stones that led to increased wisdom and mastery over your physical circumstances. Continue reviewing all of your life experiences leading up to the situation you find yourself in today, and affirm that your progress will continue as long as you embrace the process of growth and evolvement.

By honoring the ways our past experiences have contributed to who we are, we feel empowered by our progress rather than hindered by our challenges. We often take a harsh, critical view of our progress through life, focusing on the failures and mistakes we’ve made. By instead choosing to see that each experience contributes powerful wisdom and insight that move us along the path of progress, we are able to honor our growth and look forward with excitement to the next phase of growth to come. As you acknowledge the ways your experiences have contributed to your growth today, you can enjoy a sense of accomplishment and eagerness to continue along the path of progress."

Thank you, Josie.